The books BALLO BALLO NEW YORK and BALLO BALLO MOSCOW strive to avoid lengthy, heart-wrenching speeches about unrequited love and even more boring, endless, meaningless monologues that often even the author himself does not understand. These two books simply try to approach people in the most humorous way possible. I am sure that once you read the excerpts from these works, you will immediately understand what I wanted to say with these books, and if you decide to continue, I wish you lots of fun and even more laughter.

BLLO BALLO NEW YORK - excerpt from the work...

Love and enough, you said five times, and now you're playing with my ears more than I like, you really don't appreciate that I'm in this country...

Honey, hold on, why are you turning everything into something so serious? We can't always be serious. It would be a shame not to play with such big ears now that they've grown so big. Try waving them, come on, wave them!

That's enough, stop it, or I'll get really angry, and then not only will the whole world be afraid of me, but you will too, and I don't want that!

Oh, oh, we're angry again, pouting our lower lips, but we're playing offended, not pouting our mouths, not shaking our big heads when I want to stroke them, because when you pull your head away suddenly, your bangs fall into your eyes. Come on, stop it, you naughty boy, do you really want to be disobedient?

I'm offended, you know, I don't like this game at all, I've told you many times that I don't like it!

Come on, it's just innocent fun. Show me, your bangs are falling into your mouth. We should call the barber next week, or I'll cut them for you. What do you say, dear? I can do it, it's just bangs, right?

My love, no, when he's here, let him cut the back too, it's kind of long there, because when I'm in the shower, I feel it falling on my shoulders. What do you think, will you like me with shorter hair?

Honey, you know you will. Leave it all to me, I'll take care of it. Stop frowning so much and smile at me, come on, you can do it, you know you can, you tough, hairy, fear-inducing cowboy.

My love, is it just me, or are you really this crazy after every plastic surgery, as if you were going back in time, slowly returning to your youth? It's unbelievable how good it suits you in every way.

Darling, I'm so glad you noticed. You won't believe me, but I always feel ten years younger. You have no idea how good it is for me. I feel like I'm seventeen again. Sometimes I feel like I have my whole life ahead of me, so don't be angry with me for playing with your big ears sometimes.

How could I be angry with you, my little model? You have no idea how excited you make me. Look, it's getting dark. Let's have a wonderful evening just for ourselves, just like that, just you and me. What do you say?

Okay, dear, I agree, I was just about to suggest it. But you know who you had those difficult conversations with? I was bored watching TV, and there was a cooking show on, as usual. Do you think I could manage hard-boiled eggs? We could have a picnic in our huge bed. What do you say? Would you like that?

My love, they're not hard-boiled eggs, they're hard-boiled eggs, and anyway, I'm not sure you could manage it with those long nails, and I must admit I'd be much more grateful if your hands were doing something else, something useful, like what you've been doing all your life, Well, what do you say?

Okay, dear, whatever you say. And don't forget, you have that important meeting with the pharmaceutical company representatives tomorrow, so remind them to bring you some diapers, XXL, because you're running out.

I won't forget, don't worry, I've made a note of it, and when everyone has left, come and lie down next to me.

I'm coming, dear, I'm coming, oh, I almost forgot the most important thing I saw on TV.

What did you see, I hope it wasn't the Russians, dear, believe me, I really don't feel like watching them right now!

Honey, imagine that there's a guy living in New York who shits on everyone he wants to.

What are you talking about, dear, how can you shit, that's impossible, and even if it were true, my agents would have informed me long ago, my secret service is the best in the world, I can't believe they wouldn't tell me anything, no way, that can't be true!

Honey, imagine you're walking down the street, or anywhere, and he just lets you shit yourself. Can you imagine that? Out of nowhere, you're suddenly lying on the ground in convulsions, filling your pants with everything your ass can hold, just shitting and shitting.

I don't believe it, I don't believe it!

Well, your agents must not like you very much if they didn't tell you anything, because they showed him on TV, they filmed him from behind and there were people lying in front of him covered in poop. Believe me, I saw it with my own eyes, it's true, I'm all shaken up, from now on I won't take a step without security.

That's not possible, it must be fake news, you know they make up the worst lies every day just to hurt me and do anything to discredit me in front of the whole world!

But dear, these weren't your enemies, this didn't happen in Russia, these were our people and it all took place in New York. Believe me, the whole of New York is afraid of him now. Apparently, the police won't even intervene because he's had them all beaten up. They say he's getting orders from all over the country because everyone wants to have their enemies beaten up.

No, that's not possible, they deliberately avoid me and deliberately don't inform me, this is treason!

Darling, this man is rapidly gaining wealth and popularity, I think he's dangerously threatening your unshakeable position and your agents definitely want to join his side, I'm convinced that's why they're keeping quiet!

I suspected that today's argument was deliberately provoked and that they blamed everything on you, my innocent wife. That's what she meant when she asked me how I would deal with it. This is a clear attempt at a coup d'état, and I was convinced from the very beginning that the Russians are behind it, the Russians, the Russians!

Dear, just imagine if that man suddenly appeared in front of me and wanted to beat me up, I don't know what I would do out of shame, I would probably throw myself with all my strength into the first corner of our beautiful study and let whatever happens happen, then I really wouldn't care about anything anymore!

That will never happen, my love, our study is oval and you have nothing to fear. I can see that you don't know me very well yet, now you'll see what I'm capable of, I'll test it first thing in the morning. I won't allow it, when they throw that rat at my feet, you'll be there, and I swear on my fringe that you won't believe what I'll do to him, I won't allow some self-appointed tramp to take my share, just you wait, you pig, I'll report you first thing in the morning, you, you, you!

Darling, I probably shouldn't have said that, don't get upset now, let's go to bed and breathe deeply...